When you are a gay man in the twentiesometings dating can be a less enjoyable experience. Growing up you learn from the movie and tv how to act and what to say when dating. But those romantic conversations does not work when you are trying to date a queer person.
The dynamic between two men, or two women, is very different. Also the physical „look“ plays a bigger role when two men are dating. A good looking body is for most, at the first glance, more attractive. You constantly fear that you may be compromising „Mr. Perfect“ if you get involved too soon. You have the constant feeling that you might miss out on The One.
Dating apps are in one way helping a lot as you can find out quite some information before even meeting him. On the other hand it makes dating less exciting as you get the feeling there is less to discover before you meet the one in person.
The biggest struggle hasn‘t started yet – it starts when you actually have your date and you feel that it is more then just for one night. Do I want a open, polyamorous or monogamous relationship? The grass is always greener on the other side….. And the way I see and want a relationship to be with one guy might be different with another guy. And then you have the general attitude that your twenties are for fun, not dating. But maybe your idea about having fun is not being a single…
The twenties are a time where the common ground every one have is being uncertain. Finding out how to get the right structures into your life is what occupying your mind. So no wonder it takes effort and many steps to find someone that fit in to your idea about how a relationship should be. However, dating and relationship are two different issues.